Penis Van Lesbian
A strikingly handsome young man walked into the office of a Hollywood agent with his resume and portfolio in hand. The agent reviewed the young man’s slim resume and small portfolio with the care that was deserving of his fine young specimen.
“You have the very obvious good looks and excellent demeanor of an actor. Tell me, have you had any roles that I might be aware of.”
“Other than the requisite high school and college plays, no sir,” said the handsome young man.
“I dare say I know the reason why, with a name like yours,” said the agent.
“Sir?”
“Your name. Penis Van Lesbian. That’s not a name that will go far in Hollywood. I’d love to represent you, but you’ll have to change your name.”
“Sir,” the handsome young man protested. “The Van Lesbian name was my father’s, my grandfather’s and his father’s name. We have carried this name for generations and I will not change it for Hollywood or any other reason.”
“If you won’t change your name, I cannot represent you young man.”
“Then I bid you farewell — my name will not change.” With that, Penis Van Lesbian left the agents office never to return.
Five Years Later: The Hollywood agent returned to his office after lunch with some producers and shuffled through his mail. Mostly junk mail, trade journals and the like. There was one letter. He opened the envelope and removed the letter. As he unfolded the fine linen paper, a cheque dropped from the folds and onto his desk. He looked at the cheque. It was for 50,000 dollars! He read the letter:
Dear Sir: Several years ago, I entered your office determined to become an actor. You refused to represent me unless I changed my name. I objected, saying the Penis Van Lesbian name had been carried for generations and left your office. However, upon leaving, I chanced to reconsider my hastiness and after considerable reflection, I decided to heed your advice and endeavored to change my name. Now I am a famous actor with many roles and known to millions worldwide.
Having achieved this fame and fortune, it is often that I think back to my meeting with you and your insistence that I change my name. I owe you a debt of gratitude, so please accept this cheque with my humble thanks, for it was your idea which has brought me to such wealth and fame.
Very Sincerely Yours,
Dick Van Dyke
… to get hold of me?
I don’t think you have seen a pic of me in my boots so thought I would post one.
This morning while out and about I became conscious of the fact that I had worn the wrong bra underneath a fairly tight T-shirt, my breasts were starting to come over the top of the bra and one of my nipples kept peeking out too. With every step I took I could feel my breasts jiggling around like the proverbial puppies in a sack and desperately wished I had a jacket to cover up with although that would have been absurd in this hot sultry weather!
I have noticed a recent trend by Floozies on Strumpet forums to address all and sundry as “hun”, what’s this all about?
In Latin, the word “penis” originally meant “a tail.” The Latin “penis” is related to the verb pendere meaning “to hang down.”
~ Dorothy Parker/Josephine Darling
… wrote a gentleman in one of my Punternet reviews!
dress whilst out shopping and having lunch the other day, looking every inch the lady along with a nice Italian pair of red shoes … well I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what they say about red shoes, they say the same about fur coats!
… at the end of our lusty encounter on Thursday evening my gorgeous partner in lust re-booked me for the following evening (I think he quite liked me!) and informed me that he would need to be up early Saturday morning as he was going to Lourdes. I thoughtfully studied his splendid naked physique lying spent beside me and gently asked him if he was OK and whether he needed some sort of healing?