I once knew a woman who offered her honour so I honoured her offer and all night long I was on her and off her.

x

An extract from an early 1960s Home Economics text book.
Should I remember these useful instructions on my overnight appointments?!

“When retiring to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train.
But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.
When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be lead by your husband’s wishes, do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man’s satisfaction is more important than a woman’s. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products.
You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.”

My mind is boggling as to what “any of the more unusual practises” are likely to be and whether it would be possible to “register any reluctance by remaining silent.” unless of course ones mouth is full!
x

Have a look at Dollymopps new html site, it’s fab!

She doesn’t read Hello! but she’ll certainly draw you Closer, let yourself feel the Heat. Oh what a Woman, Dolly will make a Razzle in your pocket! You’ll be more than OK! with her!
www.dollymoppoflondon.com

I have a new Punternet review
from a gent who certainly enjoyed my stockings, suspenders and my highest of heels!

Thank you kind Sir, It was a pleasure.

x

…. was often the answer from the ol’ boys of Kent when asked what they had or were having for lunch or dinner that day!

You hear a lot in rural hostelries including some intriguing local dialect.
Being a country loving Wench, local dialect is something that fascinates me along with regional accents and is something that should be held dear and not forgotten although sadly it is disappearing rapidly or has gone completely from some areas. Regional accents not so long ago were something to be ashamed of or associated with being uneducated. I had no chance, at school we were made to speak “The Queens English” which snuffs out any chance of holding onto the diverse, colourful parlance of local dialects. Since leaving school (many moons ago) I try not to use the way I was taught to speak (unless I’m annoyed on the phone!) and a few times I have been told by gents my voicemail sounds “posh” but quite recently I was intrigued (and slightly pleased) to hear from a lovely chap that he thought I had a slight Kentish accent ……. ooooh arrrrgh, visions of a roll in the hay spring to mind!

During stints as a (very) buxom serving wench in the depths of Kent I used to love chatting to the older people and listening to their stories which were often intermingled with some unusual sayings and expressions. Indeed while still a student (and very green) I used to help out at a pub that was frequented by farmers and a lot of older country people and became surprised at the amount of people that would disappear to “Turn the bike round.” One particular evening after numerous turnings around of the bikes I asked the Landlord why so many older men came to the pub on their bikes and why they kept going outside to turn them round, he looked at me blankly for a moment this was followed by a good chuckle, he then explained to me that it was an old Kentish expression for having a pee!!

A prominent speech characteristic in the old Kentish way of speaking to use ‘d’ for ‘th’. There’s an old saying that goes ‘By dis, dat, den, yew can tell de Kentish men’
You was pronounced as ye, ‘ee or yew. The ‘h’ was also silent - hog was ‘og, hood ‘ood. W at the start of a word was often suppressed, thus wood was ‘ood. D on the end was dropped so pond was pon’. V was sometimes converted into w - weal for veal, wery for very. Charles Dickens often used Kentish dialect words and the language of the Medway towns in his novels. An example is in Pickwick Papers, where Mr Weller comments: ‘Be wery careful o’ vidders all your life’.

Sadly the accent is dying out rapidly and it’s only the very old people in Kent who still have the lovely accent or the offspring of farming families. I might start a petitition to bring it back.
Back to the “Bread and Pull it”, two schools of thought here, maybe the “Pull it” is relating to just having bread to eat and pulling it (apart.) or possibly pull it as in Pullett a young hen, bread and chicken.
I tend to believe the former.
This site is good, just click and listen to recordings of old long lost dialect in your region.

http://www.bl.uk/learning/langlit/sounds/

x

… and most certainly eating it!

Thank you dear ”M” ~  are you hinting that you would like me to go down on bended knee(s) next time?!
x

everybody knows Kent - apples, cherries, hops and women”
~ Charles Dickens

Woman! x

Oh yes you know that this is what Ms. Darling will always provide you with but I’m not talking about that now.

The Girlfriend Experience is a new play that has begun in The Royal Court, Sloane Square.
I went and saw it last night and can highly recommend it, it was fantastic.
Set in a Brothel in “Bournemouth” the daily working lives of the working girls are played out before your eyes, you feel like you are there with them, you feel like a voyeur as you watch them discuss their personal lives, assemble flat pack furniture, and then maybe answer the door to a “punter” with slightly unusual tastes, as one of the reviews said “seeing a guy with wet hair will never be the same again”.
What makes this play exceptional is that the ladies are real, they were recorded for nearly two years as they “worked” and their actual conversations are relayed into headphones where the actors copy their very words, nothing is made up.
The show has already been given some rave reviews and is already 80% booked up until its finishing date in mid October, so if you are wanting to see it it’s best to get a move on.
Here is The Telegraph’s review, you can find many more if you type “The Girlfriend Experience into Google.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/arts/main.jhtml?xml=/arts/2008/09/25/btgirlf125.xml