It was lovely to find a new review for me on Punterlink today.
Thank you “B” … ’twas a pleasure.
x
Punterlink International Review

Hello there, thought I had better let you know that I have changed my phone number for you to pop in your little black book or phone. Do make sure you store us ladies names and numbers under something unlikely to cause suspicion, alternatively you could get yourself a separate phone or SIM card for naughty liaisons.

The Darling magic number is now 07541 100587
Ring my bell to let me play with your dingaling!
x

Well I’m starting to think there are a few Poet Laureates amongst you dear Gentlemen, I’m being serenaded with ditties and prose (!)

Thank you dear M who sent me this, you naughty boy!!

“Jo Darling’s so famous in Sevenoaks
The council’s renaming it Heavenoaks
I love her to bits
And the sight of her tits
Gives me the sheer strength of eleven blokes.”

and this ….

“Her lustnest’s so famous in Sevenoaks
She’s restricting herself to eleven blokes
For a glimpse of her corset
They’ll travel from Dorset
No wonder they’re naming it Heavenoaks.

*Thought I’d better let you know that my lust nest and myself are not famous or well known in Sevenoaks, just incase you believed it, discretion is paramount.*

And this from Mr. P, and what a nice visit we had as always.

“Hello Ms. D, it’s only me, reminding you of my visit…
When I think of you, my heart goes oooh, why on earth is it?…
Could it be just me, thinking oh wowee and then something flickers…
When all I seem to think about is getting into your……..??????”

and this from C

“Spring is sprung,
De grass is riz,
I wonder where de birdies is?”
Dey’s down in Kent
An’ makin’ hay,
Got nuttin’ else to do all day.
But when de balmy evenin’ comes
Dey’s occupied wid flashin bums,
An’ takin’ off deyr lacy knickers,
Chattin’ up de naughty vicars,
Strainin’ groins an’ much exhaustion,
Wearin’ grins despite de caution,
Wish I was a Man of Kent -
I’d go and find out what she meant:
Country pursuits? Chasin’ virgins?
Dear Josephine, I need no urgin’s!”

I do love a good limerick or poem so any more ditties are always welcome .. I will jot a few of mine down when I have the time but you Gents are certainly keeping me on my toes (back?!) at the moment!
x

I’ve just been giggling to myself while having a look at my stats at some of the phrases that have been typed into Google that have resulted in a viewing of my website.
As well as the more usual ones, mature, busty Kent escort, South East escort, Sevenoaks escort Josephine escort etc I have found the following more unusual & bizarre ones.

“Lust nest Sevenoaks” (rather nice that someone remembered the expression I use for my abode)
“Ladies lipstick covered nipples gallery”
“Fully fashioned Escort”
“Pleasured by older men”
“Could see the bulge in my fathers pants” (hmmm not too keen on that one)
“Lady Jesaphine Darlink”
“Sex my breasts”
“Darling lipstick fetish”
“Wearing suspenders in the forties”
“Sexy Josephine knickers”
“I came in my school knickers”
“Hands in her bra”
“Colour vagina of lady for use gents” (?!)

and last but NO means least ….
“Josephine Dalek” (Haha, Exterminate, destroy! )
x

 

 

Well you are right!!
I am referring to you Mr. X who is bombarding me with emails and phonecalls.  I am sure you are “extraordinarily handsome” and have the “most magnificently large c**k” and are “as rich as Hugh Hefner” (?!) and apparently because of this I wouldn’t even want to charge you!
Let me tell you something, in the words of Shania Twain “That don’t impress me much!”
Ah no Sireee, the gents that I see wouldn’t dream of revealing the size of their manhood and believe me when I tell you the genuine big boys never ever tell and it’s only on the day as you remove their clothing that you find out these things!

Many of my gents are wealthy, they would never tell me beforehand either.  I don’t care if a couple or more hours with me is a drop in the ocean to you or you have saved for months to see me. It is immaterial whether you are rich or poor, handsome or resemble Quasimodo.  If you are polite, well turned out with a twinkle in your eye I will happily see you, what you look like physically has no bearing whatsoever, some of my most erotic, mind blowing times have been with gents who are no George Clooney.

So there you have it Mr. X, (and all other Mr. Xs of this ilk) hope you read this blog and understand, us ladies refer to men who contact us in such a manner as TWs (timewasters.)
(Ps if you are not wanting to pay for a ladies time try www.match.com)

If anyone ever spots this on their travels …

…  for all the confidence I have in the boudoir and my sheer enjoyment of entertaining gents sexually and socially, I cannot walk comfortably into a pub on my own!
Maybe I am old fashioned or something but to me it still seems slightly odd to see a solitary lady walk into a pub, order a drink and sit at the bar.  It’s different if she is going into a cafe/bar or hotel drinks bar, there I am quite happy but I mean a proper traditional English boozer! 
Obviously I have had to do this a few times but people do look enquiringly if a lady sits at the bar.  What’s she doing there, is she on the pull or even soliciting?!  I suppose it stems back to the days when ladies who happily frequented a public house on their own were thought of as a bit flighty, “lock up your husbands” sort, a bit easy with their favours, similar to the old fashioned opinion of barmaids, “up and down like a barmaids drawers” my Grandfather used to say!

Haha what a hypocrite I’m sounding but then again I’m not easy, I don’t do one night stands, I don’t pull guys, infact out of Strumpeteering I’m a bit of a nun!  “Yes I bet!” I hear you say but its true, I know a few escorts who are similar.  My friends often rib me about my chaste ways, they say things like “bet you’ve forgotten what a penis looks like?”  I of course go along with it and bemoan the fact that I have indeed forgotten what a good rogering is … and then wait with bated breath for that thunderbolt to strike me down!
Oh little do they know that this respectable lady that bakes cakes for the Vicar and helps with the village fete sporting a demure print dress, turns into a smouldering, stocking wearing, Strumpet who certainly hasn’t forgotten what a good rogering is  … thankfully!
x

 

Oooh what a palava! (cant think who it was who used to say that?!)
Been out to visit a gent tonight at his hotel, lovely exclusive Georgian hotel in commuter belt country. Fortunately as you will see both of us were running a bit late, him because his flight was delayed and me deciding to drive as the trains were playing up (wrong sort of sunshine?)
Pleased with myself for finding the hotel straight off I pulled into the driveway, the plan was that my gent would meet me by the entrance and we would amble up to his room together. A strange site greeted me, not one gentleman waiting patiently by the door but the entire residents of the hotel, being a private hotel there must have only been 25 or so people standing there, but there they were, fire bell ringing standing there, some in their jimmy jams idly watching the lady pulling up in her car!
I rang my gents phone as requested and watched the little crowd to see who would answer a mobile, sure enough a gent similar age to myself picked up, we decided that the only option was for me to join him. All eyes were watching me get (hopefully gracefully) out of the car and join Mr. X in the gaggle of people.
Making polite talk with Mr X, and wondering how long we would all be standing there I was suddenly aware of a buzzing coming from my bag, dont think at this point Mr.X could hear anything until I fumbled in my bag to find my new rampant rabbit thruster had turned itself on, frantically trying to turn the blasted thing off I managed to turn it up a speed so it was thrusting manically in my bag with the vibrations getting stronger by the minute. A rather stern looking lady standing next to me was looking quite alarmed at my bag as the vibrations were causing loose change to clink and rattle inside, once again I put my hand inside the bag and fumbled blindly with the switches only this time I managed to turn the clitoral stimulater on as well, my bag seemed to have come alive, the lady stepped away fearing I imagine that I had Basil the rat in there! Well the ice was well and truly broken with Mr.X! At last I managed to stop it by fiddling with the batteries.
The next fiasco was the rollcall of residents everyone had to put their hands up when their name was called out to check no-one was in the building. By this time I thought I had stepped onto the set of Candid Camera, after a few names were called out and accounted for another was called out “Miss Swallow” my gent looked at me and whispered “Is that you”? “No sorry not me”. Next name “Miss Love” “that could be me” I said.
To cap it all the next name was called out … unbelievably the name “Randy Riot” echoed across the courtyard “Is that you”? I whispered to Mr. X.
The firebrigade turned up and thankfully we were counted back into the hotel. Everyone was accounted for plus one extra guest… Mr.X had somehow acquired one buxom strumpet in the melee.
Jx

I have been out of my country hideaway this week, went to Central London for a couple of days for a mini tour, makes a nice change, time to do a little shopping too. Saw some nice gents .. took myself for a meal in the evening but the water in the apartment was freezing cold .. so the guys were having cold showers, didn’t seem to dampen their ardour though!
I have decided that I will stay a couple of days a week in London, nice contrast for me, countryside and city lights, return the compliment to some of the gents who wind their way down the country lanes to my cottage and see some others who dont like driving too much. Feel a little wilder too when staying away, I suppose its knowing that you wont have the chance of unexpected visitors or the Vicar knocking on the door, dropping by to collect money for the church roof or suchlike ..not that this has happened yet to me and long may it continue like that!
I have decided I have become a snob, a stocking snob that is, seem to be spending a small fortune on them .. I just have to have the fully fashioned seamed ones these days, without any lycra, they feel so much better, very smooth and silky and I like the way they ‘strain’ upwards when clipped onto the suspenders without stretching upwards, I am enjoying caressing my own legs and thighs at the moment! Not so good though when you stick a long finger nail through them when unwrapping a pair for the first time, will have to get some silk gloves to apply them soon.
Found out I am definately allergic to some of the flavoured condoms .. I can remember the vanilla ones making my lips (on face) into a trout pout, the same with the banana ones, I only have to have touched my face with a finger and the tingling starts, dread to think what they must put in the flavourings most probably the same stuff as smarties or jelly babies .. could explain some forms of hyperactivity .or does one need bromide for that?!
The hayfever I had is dying down now, someone told me to obtain some local honey, take a tablespoon a day, it definately works, would recommend that to anyone who suffers with it… as long as you have some local beehives .. but then again bees fly everywhere, so who knows how far they travel .. hmmm wondering if that is bit of a myth now!
Been having a daily call usually 10.30am on the dot from a strange character who invariably says “Josephine you ain’t half got some t*ts on you” … hmmm thanks for letting me know, I hadn’t noticed until you kindly pointed it out! In fact this is the second bout of these calls .. thought he had given up, nowt as queer as folk.
Jx

 

Just finished watching a period drama, 1700′s, my god the mens fashion then makes me feel like getting hold of a time machine, jumping in pressing button for the 18th century, I wouldn’t be able to trust myself though once I arrived … think the best thing would be to start up business as a courtesan so I could indulge myself with those frock coats and frilly shirts, not to mention those tight fitting breeches as much as my ardour allowed me! Love the look of those frilly shirts undone at the neck, the look of the frill around the cuff with a masculine hand being caressed by the frill and lace … phew and as for those belts with big buckles and maybe a musket held in place there too … heaven! The ponytails too tied up with velvet ribbon … oh yes siree!
I am sorely tempted to buy such an outfit and hang it in my wardrobe so beware you gents, you might find yourselves being cast back in time if you visit me!! I will join you dressed in the costume of the day too, all big skirts, corsets and frilly gipsy style tops … pass the bromide vicar!
Jx