I had no idea until I (wrongly) received a text earlier today from one of my gents, it was to one of his friends arranging to meet at a pub in Wembley before some football match.

Well I’ve just found out it was a cup final. Guess what I still have no idea who was playing whom, bet some of you will be horrified with me for this but I really do not know the first thing about football, let alone when there is a match on!

Bet you’re wondering where I had my head buried today, obviously not in the lap of a football supporter!

Now Rugby … that’s a different matter ( although it could be something to do with muscley thighs!)

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I found a new website which caters for the more Voluptuous woman who likes vintage clothing and was amused to find a blouse with a rather familiar name! Wonder if they had seen my website beforehand? Seems a bit coincidental as I found a link to this site through a post on the Punterlink forum. 

www.drapiere.com

Anyway whatever it was I was pleased to see they said the following …

“is the one thing that we all want and Josephine Darling fits the bill in every aspect.”

Whadda ya reckon, Josephine Darling the blouse or Josephine Darling the lady of negotiable virtue?!

PS  The blouse is fractionally more expensive!

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… that I didn’t know I had, found it tucked away with a few others in a file on my emails, can’t even remember seeing it before now!

Actually I have loads of photographs of me but they can’t be used as the positions don’t really allow me to chop part of my head off without totally ruining the image.

I’m sure you understand that some of us ladies cannot show our faces for discretionary purposes, double lives and all that.  I know that some of my gents like the fact that I am reasonably anonymous on my website especially when I visit hotels or meet a gent for a dinner date.

I personally don’t think it makes a lot of difference business wise whether a lady shows her face or not, I have spoken to ladies who have done both and they said there didn’t seem to be a noticable difference.

I have read a few guys on some forums saying that they would never meet a lady who didn’t show her face, that’s fine and I can understand how some would feel that way, some chaps seem to think that the lady is trying to hide something, maybe Dr. Spock ears or perhaps a warty witches nose, even the eye of a Cyclops?  It’s not the case, it’s just discretion and I haven’t had anyone run away ….. yet!

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I am a maiden who is forty,
And a maiden I shall stay.
There are some who call me haughty.
But I care not what they say.

I made a grab. I caught the mouse,
Now right inside my knickers.
A mouse my foot! It was a HAND!
Great Scott! It was the vicar’s!

I thought this poem rather apt for my goodself. As a few of you know I often help out with the Church fete and do a spot of baking for the Vicar.
Yes, yes I know, Tarts and Vicars springs to mind!
(By Jove what a double life eh?!)
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… and that something could have belonged to my lovely Gent who was the photographer of this pic!

Yesterday I had a dinner date arranged, a couple of hours dinner, catching up and then back to mine for a dessert called Ms. Darling.
I know ‘M’ well he is a most lovely man, a traditional Gent of the first water with beautiful manners, I love a chivalrous chap that knows how to treat a woman, opens doors (even the car) makes me feel even more amorous in the boudoir! (More on chivalry for another blog.)

‘M’ chose where we were to eat. Sevenoaks is surrounded by some beautiful countryside and we headed off into the twilight to a small village not that far from Sevenoaks where we had a table booked in a quaint country pub.
‘M’ had set up his sat nav so we could find our way easily down the country lanes to the hostelry. Suddenly the name ‘Busty Lane’ appeared on the screen, yes indeed ‘Busty Lane, how apt!
We just had to have a search for it, so we headed off up what we thought was the bosomy road but it turned out to be someones private drive where we had great trouble trying to turn the car around to get out.
Slightly disappointed in not finding our lane we headed off up the road for our dinner. The pub was lovely, you wouldn’t have known it was a pub from the road, it looked like a pair of period semi-detached cottages. The food was excellent, a hidden gem of a place which I would highly recommend (and I’m a fussy Strumpet!)
After a lot of mirth and eating we got back to the car and decided one last time to find Busty Lane, we were in luck!
It was actually hidden in the centre of the village running along side the River Busty as it is known locally, the official name is the River Bourne.
We pulled over and left the car running in the middle of the lane (’twas very narrow) and I very ungracefully (my finishing school was burnt down) clambered over the railing which guarded the road from the river so I could balance my bosom on Busty Lane.
Wonder if we were spotted in the dark, a smart linen suited Gent standing in the middle of the lane with his engine running, snapping a rather busty wench hanging her bangers over the sign?! I have just found an email from ‘M’ saying that he has found a Thong Lane nearby and that will be our next assignment … keep your eyes peeled!

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What a raunchy little number, made even more raunchy when I was asked to perform a Burlesque style dance ~ strip (me a stripper?!) to it for a big, bad, handsome man in his hotel room this evening, move over Immodesty Blaize!

I don’t profess to be much of a dancer but I eventually had him in the palm of my hand.

There’s something very appealing about big, bad, handsome men too, (unfortunately!)
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Imelda Mays’ album is fab, it’s called Love Tattoo.

I was looking forward to seeing this evenings Gent, he sounded charming on the phone and was looking forward to coming and visiting me after his day in the city.
I was not to be disappointed, he was suited and booted and smelt nice and we sat down together with a drink and told me how he had been enjoying reading my blogs …
It wasn’t long before we retired to the boudoir and things started to become a little amorous (oh how do I write rude things without sounding vulgar?!) Anyway here goes..
I just started giving my dear chap some *cough* deep oral attention (Just call me Linda!) when he unexpectedly (for both of us) ‘came’ with some force. He groaned as he came but then the groaning got louder making him sound like he was in agony … unfortunately he was!
He was in so much pain I couldn’t wipe or touch his groin area, something had happened, some sort of groin strain, hernia, we weren’t sure what?
Whatever it was I had to help my poor gent up from the bed to a standing position and sit him down gently on a stool. I held his hands, gave him aspirin, oh what pain he was in, it was awful. He didn’t want a Doctor or a hospital but needed to get out of his naked state. He couldn’t bend to get dressed so I carefully dressed him, slipping his Calvin Kleins over his ankles and pulling them up as far as I could go with him seated, then on with the socks and painfully the rest of his clothes. Thankfully I am a well built wench which meant that my gent could lean on me.
He wanted to get home, my vehicle was too high for him to climb into for me to take him to the station so I ordered a cab. He wouldn’t accept any money back either, even though he hadn’t had his full time with me by a long chalk.
We must have looked a right pair with me helping him slowly but surely up the steps to my garden.

Dear ‘A’ I really hope you are alright, I know you jokingly mentioned for me to write it on my blog, so it was the least I could do. Please do let me know how you get on like you promised, and do remember what I said about the extra time as you gallantly said you would be visiting again, you’re a brave man!
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~ William Shakespeare

Do you like my pic? I took it last week while strolling in the beautiful ‘Garden of England’ that is Kent.

(P.S. I have a couple of Darling Buds you might be interested in, or should it be Blooms in my case?!)
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